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If You Pull That Trigger

Updated: Dec 21, 2020

Suicide does not end the chances of life getting worse, suicide eliminates

the possibility of it ever getting better (Kat Calhoun).

Wayne Friedt was arrested on drug and gun charges. Rather than face life in prison he decided to kill himself after the men in his cell were asleep. As he waited for his moment he listened to a conversation between two inmates. Career criminal Buddy Franklin stated, “Cliff Maple, eternity is out there somewhere, farther than your mind can comprehend; it began when you were born…. Your existence on this planet is nothing more than a vapor, it appears for a moment and then like a flash it’s over—but eternity keeps on going forever and ever. Now, I don’t know if the Bible is true …, but if there’s one chance in a thousand it is; a man would be a fool to take his own life and spend eternity in hell.”

Franklin’s words were sobering, causing Wayne to think about what happens after death. Friedt was not a Bible person but he reasoned that the odds of the Bible being true were just as great as the odds of it being false. Until he could ascertain with certainty that the Bible was not true and he was positively certain that this life was all there is—he thought it would be foolish to kill himself and awaken to an uncertain eternity. Wayne decided not to gamble because he felt the odds for life after death were just as good as the odds for nothing after death. Eight months later while out of jail on bond he had forgotten about odds, hell and eternity. Prison was inevitable and life for this twenty-year-old felon was pointless. As he sat on the bed in his small garage apartment in a state of depression, Wayne revisited the idea of shooting himself in the head. Excitement swelled, something he had not felt before, an eagerness to die dominated his thinking; a bullet was how he would escape the predators in prison.

Just a few simple steps—get up, grab the pistol, pull the trigger and BAM!!!! More than once he had pressed the cold steel of a gun against his temple, but tonight he was going to do it. Before grabbing his gun there was one thing he had to do; ask God a question, “What is hell like?” He had heard about the burning lake of fire. Wayne waited for God to answer. He didn’t. So he asked God another question, “To what can I compare Hell?” Silence. As Wayne stood to his feet to kill himself, suddenly millions of goose bumps popped up all over his body, a tangible and invisible cloud of something dropped down on him. He saw himself. It was as if his spirit departed from his body and he was looking at himself through a hole in the ceiling. He felt naked and vulnerable; his fearless tough guy gun packing thug attitude vanished. Sorrow and compassion welled up within him—Wayne felt sorry for himself, that pathetic broken confused man sitting there. God did answer him in a moment of divine revelation.

It was if God was saying, “Even if you cannot comprehend the horrors of hell, here is glimpse of the hopelessness of eternity without Me, an existence offering no hope of reprieve.” Wayne did not pull the trigger; realizing that suicide would not solve his problem; it would only serve to make it infinitely worse. Sometime later he became a follower of Jesus. God miraculously intervened in his trial and to the astonishment of all familiar with his case; he did not go to prison. For over four decades Pastor Wayne has preached the Gospel telling thousands and thousands of people his story. So if you are distraught do not pull that trigger—don’t take your life. Suicide is not your answer; it will tragically transform a curable affliction into a terminal disease.

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